You is Smart, You is Kind, You is Important

By the time I start PA school next month, it'll be exactly two years since I graduated and got my Bachelors of Science in Biochemistry. These two gap years have been the worst and somehow even the best years of my life. I found out who I really am, how I can pick up the pieces and move forward, and that in the midst of darkness, there is always a light. Today, I wanted to share what I've learned about myself, life in general, and other people in the past two years.

When I graduated from college, I had big plans for myself that fortunately didn't work out. Yes, I said fortunately. Looking back on it now, I'm grateful that things happened the way they did. If they hadn't, I wouldn't be going to PA school next month. I had to face several rejections in order to get rerouted to where I'd always wanted to go, but was too fearful and didn't think I could do it. One of my favorite quotes now is "Every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being re-directed towards something better" by Steve Maraboli. These words are so true in my life that it gives me goosebumps whenever I think about it.

In the last two years, I've come across so many people who seem to be disappointed in themselves because the world makes them feel like a failure. In a world where expectations are high and everything is supposed to be fast, fun, and easy, people often start to define themselves by the expectations set by society. We're supposed to be in college at the age of 18, graduate in 4 years, find a good paying job, get married in our mid twenties, and start a family soon after that. Society sits there with a rubric in their hands and checks off things on the list as we move forward in our lives. God forbid you deviate from that rubric and all hell breaks lose. You didn't get a job right after graduating? You must not have done everything correctly. How on earth will you buy a house in the next 2 years?

No one stops to think about why we force others to follow a timeline that may not suit their life. What ends up happening is that if we deviate from this timeline, if we live our lives differently than our siblings, friends, or others in the world, the judgment game starts. People start to compare us to other people in our age group. They identify us as someone who failed to accomplish a certain goal by a certain age, regardless of what our circumstances were. What we often seem to forget is that not everyone has had the same opportunities in life. So while two people might be the same age, moved to a town during the same time, went to the same college, or what have you, their lives have the possibility to turn out very different. And that's okay. We are not all meant to be the same. We all have different priorities and all of our stories help us build our own testimony that will one day help someone else get through their rough patch in life. I can say that because I experienced it first hand last year.

I think the worst part is that at some point, we let those people who judge us and know nothing about us get into our heads. We start to define ourselves from their perspective and that's one of our biggest downfalls. It's easy to do this when we're already down about life not working out as we had planned. We start to question our own ability and ask ourselves if we're good enough. Maybe we didn't try hard enough. Or maybe we're not smart enough to accomplish something in life.

Well, I want to tell you something today: You are enough. You are smart enough. You are pretty enough. You do enough. You care enough. You earn enough. You exercise enough. You eat enough. You work enough. You love enough. You sacrifice enough. You trust enough. You accomplish enough. You are important enough.

We are more than the amount of money in our bank accounts or the number of trophies on our mantel. I don't measure success in money or materialistic achievements. Here are a few things I find more important to focus on to determine if I'm successful:

• Do I make people feel comfortable enough to be themselves around me?
• Do I spread true joy to those that cross my path in life?
• Do I learn from my mistakes and better myself?
• Do I continue to persevere in times of hardship and not give up?
• Do I know when to stop (not give up) and when to let go?
• Do I know when to ask for help?
• Is my family happy with me? Do I take care of them emotionally and not just financially?

I know I've said this before, but be kind to yourself. It's okay if your plans don't work out. Wake up tomorrow and try again. And if you still don't get where you were wanting to go, ask yourself what you can do to improve or if life is trying to point you in another direction. There is no shame in saying "what I planned didn't work out so I'm going to try something else now." That something else can be another career, another approach to resolve an issue, or whatever it is that's an obstacle in your life. Don't give people the permission to get to you. And most of all, don't give yourself the permission to be over critical of yourself either.

Life is too short to let others define you based only on your accomplishments. Forgive them for not understanding your journey and move on. Surround yourself with people who know who you really are, what you've been through, and how you picked yourself up after every hardship. You know what you've been through, you know who you really are. No one knows your story like you do. Own your story, no matter how many ups and downs you've been through, because it has made you the strong, wise, and confident person you are today.

I hope you found this post helpful. If you enjoyed this post, I would love it if you shared/saved this post on Bloglovin' (click on the heart in the menu bar). How do you handle rejection or obstacles in your life? I'd love to hear from you in the comments!