We did it people!!! As of last Friday, didactic year is finally over. I have no idea how but somehow I survived the last 15 months and made it to the light at the end of the tunnel. This past week has been our week off so I have been enjoying my study free time. I thought it was time to sit down and gather my thoughts about this crazy journey and share them with you all.
This has been the hardest yet most rewarding 15 months of my life. If you've been around here for a while, you know thats not the first time I've said that. What I mean by that is, even though didactic year was hard and challenged every part of my being, I can't think of anything better that I would have done instead. There were many a times where I questioned myself and wondered if I was in the wrong place, if I was cut out for this, or if I just slipped through the cracks. But nevertheless, I am glad to find out that I was exactly where I was meant to be (and so are you).
It took a village to get me here. There wasn't a single day where I can say I did it alone. The constant support of my family, friends, classmates, and faculty brought me to where I am today. At least one person made an impact on my day and pulled me through in small or big ways on a daily basis. Be it a few kind and encouraging words, bringing me meals, listening to me complain about how hard this all is, making me laugh, or simply being there for me when I needed them the most, the people around me (and far away from me) all played a role in keeping me sane. There will never be enough words or actions to thank them and repay them for what they have done for me (and my future patients). All that to say I couldn't have done this on my own and I am so grateful to each and every one of them.
I am capable of so much more than I could've ever imagined. Sure, I don't remember everything I've learned, but do I recognize the names of drugs and diseases when someone brings them up? Absolutely. The capacity of a human brain honestly fascinates me but what I'm surprised by more is how unaware we are of how much our brains can actually retain. If you would've told me 5 years ago that I was going to learn all that I have in the last 15 months and remember even half of it, I would've laughed at you and thought you were out of your mind. So believe me when I say that you ARE indeed made for this. No matter what role you're going to play as provider for your patient (PA, doctor, nurse, pharmacist, etc.), your brain has got your back. Also believe your faculty when they tell you (for the 70th time) to trust the process. It's been tried and tested, they're not making it up, and I can vouch for that. When the time comes, you'll see for yourself. Until then, just believe the rest of us and keep pushing through.
A picture of how much I've had to stuff in my brain and probably how much has already escaped my brain
I am grateful for the amazing faculty at my school. Not only are they incredibly intelligent and invested in our education, they care so much about their students. They cared not only about how we were doing in school but also about our well being. Many of our professors prayed for us and with us before exams, which was such a touching experience. It's incredible to see how dedicated they are and how they always put us and our education first in their lives.
I had the best classmates I could've ever asked for. The community we have is one of a kind. We have laughed to gather, cried together, prayed together, stressed out together, and been there for each other through thick and thin. I don't remember a single instance where I felt like I couldn't approach a classmate to ask for help. Thankfully, it was never a cut throat environment in our class and we grew and learned together as a class. Within a short period of time, the people I never knew became my a part of my family. This is the most compassionate, intelligent, caring, hilarious, and determined group of people I've had the fortune of knowing. I miss them all already and hold them so close to my heart.
I did not have it together all the time, and that is okay. I've never had more moments of weakness in my life than in the past 15 months. It was challenging to find balance between school, blogging, fun things to do, and life in general. There were many days I went to bed with my room in a complete mess, with laundry piled up or dishes still in the sink (that was a big no no for me before PA school). I've had many sleepless nights, moments of panic and anxiety, self doubt and oh so many tears. All that to say that its not just all about the pictures on Instagram that make life seem perfect. I have always wanted to share the full picture, and everything I said above is my reality. So don't be too hard on yourself: let the tears roll down your cheeks, allow yourself to go to bed before finishing your to-do list for the day, take a night off, or do whatever it is that you need to feel whole and happy. When the sun comes up the next day, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try again. Because nothing is worth sacrificing your well being.
I have learned a lot, experienced much more, and know that our faculty has prepared me for the challenge that lies ahead of me. I am nervous yet giddy with excitement about starting clinicals on Monday. I am looking forward to being with patients every single day and learning how not to just practice medicine, but also how to shape myself into the PA my patients need.
Thank you all so much for reading along and for your support and such strong words of encouragement; they lifted me up when I needed it the most. I never imagined that so many of you would be interested in reading about my life and actually even benefitting from it. I am grateful for this opportunity to be able to share my experiences and be able to help you all out in the process. I plan on writing a post about each rotation and my experiences and tips for future PA students but please let me know if you ever have any questions about anything else PA school related, I'm always here for y'all!
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